Our new Home

I have been asked to post picture of our new home. 

It has taken me a while.  Moving is a lot of work.  It took me 6 and a half hours at the school over two days to get my high schoolers registered and ready for school.  It was hard.  It's funny, but for seniors, they will move mountains to make it work for them to graduate.  For a freshman, they have all the time in the world to get it done, so for now, they just want to fit them into a mold.  At first she had two second semester classes, having never taken the first half of each class.  It was a we will figure it out later.  Huh?  Let's figure it out now.  Then they filled her schedule with classes that meant nothing to her.  Money matters and dance.  Really?  She also had theater and a human services class.  She is okay with those.  She had an empty period.  We finally filled that with band.  I wrote her counselor the next day and asked if I could meet with her and the graduation counselor who I had learned through getting Austin's schedule that she is also the virtual school adviser.  She said she was too busy and we should wait a week.  But I was welcome to meet with the graduation counselor on my own.  We were considering pulling Elisabeth out and home schooling her.  I just went to the school during Elisabeth's off hour to find her and see how she was doing and to find the graduation counselor.  Mrs. Gregory had emailed me and told me she had time to meet.  Yay!  We met for over an hour and finally got her schedule organized.  She is taking Spanish 3 in a virtual class, both semesters.  She is also taking geography 1st semester in a virtual class.  She will test out of the first half of geometry to get credit for that.  Whew.  

It also takes a lot of work to go through everything.  I have tried on every piece of clothing I own.  I lost 28 pounds and I can now fit into every skinny outfit I own!  Yay!  So, I got rid of anything too big and all my clothes that aren't as flattering.  I have a lot of sewing to do on my skirts. They fall off.  That is a good thing, right?  

I am also going through every book and craft item.  Pretty much everything.  Lots of donations in the future.  

 Below is the master bedroom.  It is bigger than we expected.  We fit our bed and the chair and a half in there.  It is perfect for Drew because he can work happily in the bedroom when he is home.  He has the ottoman and the table to support him.  

 The shower in the bathroom.  I often think Drew bought this house for the shower.  It is great!

 My closet.  It still needs Drew's magic touch of a custom closet.  :-)

 The entry to our room.  It is nice.  

 The living room.  We haven't hung any pictures, so they are lining the walls.  

 The dining room turned into the library.  I have to figure out what to do with books.  I love books.  We all do.  The kids books have memories.  I really did read a lot to my children.  There are so many books I can't throw away because I remember reading it with them, or using it as I taught them preschool.  I love our LDS book collection.  I love that my kids can come down stairs and find a good uplifting book to read.  

  

 I love my kitchen.  Probably my favorite part of the house.

 The dining room.  It is the breakfast nook off the kitchen.  We eat here more than the dining room.  I decided I would rather have one place where we all eat.  It is convenient to the kitchen.  

By Small and Simple things, Great things are brought to pass

It has been a whirl wind of the past couple of weeks.  Let's see if I can remember it all.  It all fell into place, miraculously.

Sometimes, you have to take a step into the darkness, and keep taking little steps, until everything falls into place.  Through all of this, we learned that The Lord is in charge.  His ways are better than our ways.  He wants us to put our faith in Him.  As we do, He will lead us to better things.  It isn't easy.  But, we learn to rely on Him, our children learn to rely on Him, and we all learn that it all works out for the best.  If we just endure.

On Wednesday, August 6th, we got an offer on the house.  We had to negotiate for a while, but in the end, it all worked out.  It was long and sometimes hard.  I do remember we were packing one of the pods to put our stuff in storage and we heard that we were getting an offer.  Both Drew and I received immediate revelation that this was the right offer.  So we continued to move forward with packing up our home.  They needed to rent for 2 months and then close on Oct. 15th.  That was good for us, because after having 5 months without any income, it would be nice to have some money to put in the bank while we wait for the sale of the home to go through.  We wanted to get out quick enough to have our children start school in South Carolina on August 18th.

On August 10th, we were planning on driving down to South Carolina, to sign the lease on our apartment, sign the kids up for school, and maybe even find a home.  That morning, before church, I was talking to Drew about putting an offer on a house.  And how, if we could just get a start date for his new job, then we could put an offer on a home.  We needed that official start date first.  I had asked Drew if he could write his new boss and tell him we would love a start date, since we were going down to the Charlotte area that day. He said to me, that his boss was trying hard to get it ready, but was working on other things.  About ten minutes later, he received an e-mail with two options for a start date.  August 25th and one in September.  Obviously, we chose  August 25th.

What an important date that was.  It allowed us to put an offer on a home.  Drew had been talking to his mom.  His grandma was under the care of hospice.  We all called her on Tuesday night and wished her a happy birthday and sang to her and told her how much we loved her.  So, he also was able to find a flight to visit St. George, on August 19th through the 22nd with just 100 flight miles left over.  We had just enough miles for him to go to St. George.  Coincidence, or tender mercy?

We left Sunday after church and drive to Fort Mill.  On Monday morning, we woke up and went to the schools and started the process of registering our kids for school.  We also made appointments to meet with counselors the next day to set up the high school kids schedules.  Then, we signed the lease on our home and got a phone call as we were driving around that the South Carolina Health Department had finished and processed our kids health records that day.  We picked those up and completed the process of registering our children for school.
The kitchen cupboards and floors and granite and backsplash.The brick and outdoor siding and trim and door paint colors.The bathroom cupboards and marble counters and tile for the floor and shower and tub.

What are island will look like, only in the cupboards shown above.

Then we met with our realtor and the Meritage home builder about our new home.  We had e-mailed ahead of time letting them know which houses we wanted to look at.  We went through the Brunswick, the one we had seen before.  If we bought that home, we would have to build it.  There were too many changes we would want to make to that home.  So, then we went to my favorite, and Elisabeth's favorite, the Hamilton.  It was a spec.  With the framing, electrical, and foundation done.  It will be ready in mid October.  The lot is amazing.  It is next to an easement, underneath power lines.  So, the only thing that could even be put there would be a walking trail.  There are trees behind our home.  Once again, no other home.  There is a home to our left.  The house was perfect.  Drew's one concern was a bathroom on the main floor for visiting parents.  Our realtor actually came up with a brilliant idea of where to put it.  The more we walked around, the more, I loved it, and the more I could see out family living in it.
The side yard of the Hamilton.   The back yard of the Hamilton.

Then, we drove to the Madison, Drew's favorite plan.  The bummer was the lot was horrible.  We realized that we wanted a spec home.  With a spec home, they will finish building it. It is our home.  When you build, they will not break ground until you close on the house.  Since we can't close on the house until after October 15th, we couldn't move in until sometime next year.  The biggest reason that makes me a little sad is that I have a sweet boy who is a senior.  We would build a home and he would live in it for 3 or 4 months.  I would like him to have the holidays in our home, or at least with a home.  He has been an angel through all of this.  He had to move for his senior year of high school.  I never heard any complaints from him.  Whenever I asked him how he felt about it, his response was always this is what the Lord wants us to do, so we will do it.  How did I get so blessed to have a son like that?  What faith and strength.  His one request was to have a school where he could continue the engineering program and where he could go to school with his sister.  That's it.  Such simple requests.  So, we walked away from the Madison.  I liked the Madison.  But the Hamilton seemed like the right home for the family.

We went back to the office, and got the house down in price.  We told her what we had originally wanted to spend.  She figured out a good price.  All the upgrades are already put in.  If I were to find upgrades, I would probably put 100,000 worth of upgrades.  I am happy with the upgrades they will put in.  It will be a good home.  Actually, as I drove away, I had tears fall down my cheek.  This home is more than I could ever have dreamed would be ours.  I feel so blessed.  Why would I deserve such a fabulous home?  I felt overwhelming gratitude for what we had found.  Did I say that it will be done end in October?  This home is being built for us.  A loving Father in Heaven had it built for us.  I am so blessed.

We met with her the next morning and looked at all the fixtures for the home.  The cupboards, flooring, and granite.  The faucets and lighting.  It is a beautiful home.

The Meritage home realtor had to fight to get the price down for us.  They didn't want to go down that low.  But, she got it.  We went back to the office and she realized why they fought her so much.  All the upgrades they had planned for the home had gone up in price.  To say that we are getting a good deal, is an understatement.  But, we got it.  :-)  We signed on the home.

We met with the counselors, and they scheduled Elisabeth and Austin to have the same lunch first semester and then the same theater class second semester.  What a gift.  They were both happy about that.

We drove home to finish packing up the house.  When we got home, we found that Austin had worked tirelessly while we were gone to complete his Eagle scout.  Seriously.  All by himself.  Something I have been trying to help him do for 2 years, and he gets it completed while I am out of town.  I am so proud of him.  He had his board of review on Friday Night.  The night before we left to move to South Carolina.  His friends took him hiking up Old Rag on Wednesday, and then threw a surprise farewell party for him.  On Thursday, Kaylene and Jennifer Toma threw our family a farewell party.  It was such a gift.

Austin's Board of Review went very well.  He had been told some of the questions he would be asked ahead of time.  He pondered them.  The hardest question was "Will you be any different once you receive your Eagle Scout?"  He replied with something to the effect of it is kind of like turning 18.  When you wake up on your 18th birthday, you don't wake up a totally different person than the person you were the day before.  Suddenly you are an adult, but you haven't really changed over night.  Instead, you have been changing a little at a time, to become the person you are.  That is how it is with your eagle scout.  Will I be a better person for receiving my eagle scout, yes.  The work and time has made me better.

Bill Mayo, probably one of the hardest scout leaders, who is also one of the greatest scout leaders pulled Austin aside afterwards.  He said that he does about 50 board of reviews every year.  He thinks that answer was by far the best answer he has ever received to that question.  Way to go Austin!!!

We moved out of the house on Friday afternoon, and spent the night with the Moores.  On Saturday morning, we drove to our apartment in South Carolina.  It was hard to say goodbye to the Moore's.  They are a great family.  We often call ourselves the Morepez's because Mackenzie spends that much time at our home.  And vice versa.  I knew it would be hard to say good bye to Kaylene.  Our lives are so entwined on a daily basis.  It was incredibly hard to say good bye to Mack.  She has been like a fifth child to me. We will miss all our great friends in Virginia.  The Dionnes, The Toma's, the Hansen's, Jena Young, The Torfins, The Eliasons, and so many more.  I have been blessed by some dear and great friends in Virginia.  I look at these families and wonder why on earth I am so lucky to call them friend.  So blessed. We will miss our cousins JT and Sara.  They moved in a little over a year ago, and we are so sad to say goodbye.   They have made a big impact on me and changed me for the better.  All of our friends and familu did so much for us in our move.  Coming over to pack, having us over for dinner, throwing us a goodbye party, helping us clean the house, and being amazing friends on whom I know I can rely and can call if I ever need anything.

The Duersch family have become our East Coast Cousins.  We love their family.  They drove down multiple times to help us with our home.  They took multiple car trips.  We are so blessed to call them friend and family.  When we moved to Virginia, I moved there with a little apprehension.  We had known the Duersch family a little at BYU.  From the first Thanksgiving, we felt as though we were family.  We fit right in and as my parents said when they met them, they are just like you.  Now that is a huge complement for Drew and I.  I hope we can be as amazing as their family is.  But so nice to know that we have very similar standards and values.  We just fit together, and I know that when my kids are with their kids, that they will have the exact same standards we have with movies and books.  It makes it so easy.  We only live 9 hours away.  We will still visit and enjoy their family.  A couple of states won't change that.  :-)

We drove on Saturday.  I was worried I would fall asleep at the wheel.  I didn't .  I have Austin to keep me company.  It was fun to visit with him and Tyler and Audrey.  Elisabeth rode with her dad.  I may have received a ticket for speeding.  It was definitely a trap.  I was going flow of traffic, and going down hill.  I should have braked down the hill instead of coasting.  Oh well.  At least it kept me awake.  :-)  We made it safe and sound.  What a relief and what a blessing.  I have never driven for 6 hours before.

We got here Saturday night and there were members of the ward here ready to help us take all of our stuff up two flights of stairs to the 3rd floor.  It was hard.  We have some heavy couches.  We were exhausted.  We were so blessed.  Austin and Elisabeth's seminary teacher brought us dinner. It was awesome.  So yummy and so kind.  She is such a sweet person.

We went to church on Sunday.  The kids met lots of people and loved getting to know others.  They started school and seminary on Sunday.  The little kids just started school on Monday.  Seminary starts at 6:40.  Elementary school starts at 7:45, but the bus shows up at 7 am.  So, by 7:15, all of my children are out of the house.  Tyler and Audrey are done at 2:30 and home by 3.  Austin and Elisabeth are done at 3:30, but with cross country are home either at 4 or 6.  We are falling into a rhythm.

Drew had a good visit with his mom and grandfather in St. George.  The Friday before we moved, we got the phone call that Gram had passed away.  So sad.  Drew had hoped to see her one last time, but she got to see 4 of her children before she died.  Her other son, David, is in heaven, and I am sure he was waiting for her.  The highlilght for us was doing family prayer and scripture study with them for a night.

I found the outlet mall, and after three or four tries, finally found a fabric store.  Wal-mart is way closer than Target.  I am not a fan of Wal-mart. But they do have good bread.  I will find a way to get to Target once a week.  :-)  Probably after we move into the house.  Then, I can get lots of groceries at once.  Right now, I try to limit it to what I or whomever is with me can carry up the stairs in one trip.  We also found a Costco.

I went to Relief Society on Tuesday night and met lots of people.  It felt good to meet some sisters and have fun talking with them.  The Bishop's wife knows the Nortons.  It is a small world.  On Wednesday, I went to the temple alone.  It was a great visit and I found it and got into the session.  There are only 44 chairs in for the session.  22 for girls, and 22 for boys.  They have 2 sessions, one at 9 and one at 11.  The 11 one will get me home after the elementary kids get home, so I need to make the 9 am session.  It all worked out.

We have dinner tonight with some friends, Courtney and Jeremy Thompson, who were in Vint Hill ward with us for a while.  Tomorrow, the High Priest Group leader is inviting us and another new family over for dessert.  They have womens basketball every Friday morning at 9:15.  I will try and make that next week.  Drew goes to work tomorrow and then flies out to Boston until Thursday for his first assignment.

Things are falling into place.  I feel safe in our home.  Our children are doing well.  The apartment suits us well for now.  Our home continues to be built.  I probably stop by every day.  I love to watch it grow.  I am so excited for our new home.


Things fell into place perfectly.  I know the Lord had and has a hand in our lives. I know that it is only because of Him, that all these things are working.  It is good to know.  It helps me to move forward with my husband traveling regularly.  I know that we are supposed to be here.  I wouldn't have chosen Charlotte.  He knows everything perfectly.  I am grateful He has guided us.  I hope and pray I can be whom He wants me to be.  And do all that I can to serve Him and fulfill His desires for me.

Agency and Accountabilty

I think the biggest key factor for my children is agency.  It has been something we have worked hard at teaching our children since the beginning.  You make choices every day.  You can't always choose the consequences that come with those choices though.

One unique thing I learned from Austin was at a young age, he asked a ton of questions.  One of his favorite stemmed from what would happen if....?  He wanted to know the consequence to everything.  If he disobeyed, what would happen.  If he did something, what would happen.  If he didn't do something, what would happen.  I was always having to lay out all the consequences from the beginning. I learned form him how important it is to teach your children choices and consequences.  When I thought about it in my life.  I like to know the consequences of my actions when I make decisions.  It is a key to learning and growing.

I am like every parent, who wants to shield their children from their consequences.  I have made mistakes.  I have tried to help alleviate the pain and sorrow from their wrong choices.  The best lessons have been learned when they learn from their choices.  

Another thing that took me a while to learn was how to react when they make bad choices.  If I get mad at them, then they can turn their anger and bad feelings towards me.  But when I say, something like, how do you feel about it.  They tend to be more repentant and to have a better understanding of what they did wrong and they are allowed to feel those bad feelings.  Then, I can help them work through those bad feelings.  Really, that is our role as parents.  We are to be the ones who love and help them to learn how to make things right.  We all make mistakes.  Our Father in Heaven knows that.  It has been my experience when I turn to Him, he doesn't get mad and make me feel worse.  If I have a repentant heart.  He is standing there ready and waiting to love me and help me make it right.  It wouldn't feel as good to not have to work for it.  Sometimes we have to say we are sorry.  Sometimes we have to make amends for our wrongs.  And it is hard work.  But it feels better once we have made it right.  Forgiveness is such a powerful thing.

Lastly, I remember going to a conference in Hawaii while I was still a young mom.  A speaker had done research and had found that the key indicator after following a group of kids though their youth and on to marriage, was personal prayer and personal scripture study.  I have made an effort to teach my children to pray on their own.  To read their scriptures on their own.  It isn't always easy.  We have to remind them.  We have to teach them to move from the readers to the scriptures.  They do it.  They are learning for themselves.  My 7 year old is reading the Book of Mormon all by herself.  She is through 2nd Nephi.  The Isaiah chapters.  She might not understand it all.  But when I talk to her about it, she understands some.  She is learning for herself.  She is finding joy in reading for herself.

And that makes all the difference.  I don't remember ever forcing my children to do something.  My kids wake up for seminary on their own.  They make their own breakfast.  Their own lunch.  They are learning for themselves.  My oldest wants to go on a mission when he turns 18.  We have talked about it several times.  I have let him know that I love him with all of my heart.  It is his decision to serve a mission.  It is his decision to out in his papers when he is 18.  It is his decision.

One more thing.  I am blessed to know the gospel is true.  Always have.  Probably always will.  No doubts.  It is a gift.  In Doctrine and Covenants 46, is reads,

 11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

 12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.

 13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.

 14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

 15 And again, to some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know thedifferences of administration, as it will be pleasing unto the same Lord, according as the Lord will, suiting his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men.

 16 And again, it is given by the Holy Ghost to some to know the diversities of operations, whether they be of God, that the manifestations of the Spirit may be given to every man to profit withal.

 17 And again, verily I say unto you, to some is given, by the Spirit of God, the word of wisdom.

 18 To another is given the word of knowledge, that all may be taught to be wise and to have knowledge.

 19 And again, to some it is given to have faith to be healed;

 20 And to others it is given to have faith to heal.

 21 And again, to some is given the working of miracles;

 22 And to others it is given to prophesy;

 23 And to others the discerning of spirits.

 24 And again, it is given to some to speak with tongues;

 25 And to another is given the interpretation of tongues.

 26 And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God.

I believe I have been given the gift to know that it is true.  Not all have that gift.  I have a child who has questioned multiple times, the truth of it.  We sit and talk and then I tell that child to pray to know for themselves.  To study for themselves.  It is good to ask questions.  It is okay to have doubts sometimes.  We just need to be sure we are going to truthful sources to find out about it.  We don't go to a science book to learn about how to write an essay.  We must go to the scriptures themselves and to God, to truly know Him.  Prayer and Scripture study are the key for learning for ourselves.  

I don't know a lot of things.  I do know that when I turn to Him.  When I trust in Him.  When I follow Him, I am happier.  I find greater joy in life.  Greater peace.  Greater love.  And a greater capacity to do more and to be more.  

Always Learning

I feel like I am always learning so much from The Lord. I am so thankful to Him and for His patience in me.

Just a few thoughts before I go to bed.

He gives us choices. We can choose the easier road and be okay. There will be trials. There are days that it will be hard. We can choose. Or we can choose to follow Him and His ways. His ways are not our ways. They require more faith. More patience. More.

I am not sure how everything is going to work out. But I do know He is in charge. The more I pray and the more I walk by faith. The more I see His hand in our lives. Because we have asked for His hand. Because we are choosing to follow His path. I say that because it has been hard lately. I have had several people say to Drew and I something to the effect of: You will end up in North Carolina because that is where you want to go.

Truthfully if I were choosing a place to live it would be Texas. Staying in Virginia. Or moving somewhere closer to family. Why would I randomly pick North Carolina?  I don't know anyone who lives there. To me it is a place that has great beaches. But truthfully I could go to the beach from here. Or almost anywhere, we could find a beach. Where we are looking isn't that much closer to the beach. In fact it may be a little farther away from where we live now.

Yes we will be choosing North Carolina as the offer comes in. Because The Lord has opened our hearts to North Carolina. Because we prayed about it. Because it felt right. It still feels right. It even feels right to our children. Who would definitely choose to stay here.  I have a senor ready and willing to spend his last year of high school wherever the Lord wants us to go.  His one qualification is that he gets to go to high school with his sister.  

One more interesting thought and development.  North Carolina just repealed the common core.  This past week.  We were looking in South Carolina, but now we are looking in both.  As my oldest daughter just said, Heavenly Father changes laws for our family. :-)  Or, He has postponed the job offer until they passed the law so that we will look in North Carolina...  

President Monson said the following in his talk in October 2013. 

"Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were--better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.

This should be our purpose--to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life." 

As I read this, my heart and mind were opened to better understand the Lord's role in our live.  I am thankful for Him.  Thankful that He continuously teaches and leads me, as I choose to follow Him. 

Something Greater!

This past week has been fun and quote a learning experience.  We were given an offer the week before to a large consulting company here in DC.  It is a good company.  It was a good offer.  It would require 100 percent travel.  I know lots of friends who travel 100 percent and it works for their family.  I was not thrilled about it.  On Monday night, I about lost it.  We were awaiting a job offer from a company in North Carolina.  A smaller company.  It would start out with a year of working in North Carolina and then may turn into a travel job.  It felt better to me for some reason.  Drew had said that he felt that if we didn't get an offer from the North Carolina company by Tuesday, then he would accept the offer here with 100 percent travel.  

I worked myself up way too much.  I was quick to tears.  We spent the day with a great friend, Chris Torfin.  It was awesome to see him again.  And to enjoy hanging out with him.  I was able to focus on other things for most of the day.  When I got home that night, I got the largest headache I have ever had.  I thought I was going to explode.  I laid down and cried, until I got it all out.  

Tuesday, we got a contingent offer from the North Carolina job.  They want us, but not for another 5 to 7 weeks.  I thought well, I guess that means we are taking the job here.  That was the understanding I got from Drew.  We hadn't taken the time to really talk about it or pray about it. I made the mistake of letting myself get excited about staying here with friends, keeping the house we have worked so hard to get ready to sale, and no more showings, and a job, finally.  I made the bigger mistake of telling my parents, my brothers, and my close friends.  

Wednesday morning, Drew asked me if I felt good about it.  I looked at him and thought that he had already decided it.  I suggested that we go to the temple that day and pray about it.  He agreed.  All the kids wanted to come and hang out at the visitors center.  We drove up there, and as we were walking into the temple, Drew said maybe this is an Abrahamic test to see if we are willing to give up everything, security, everything, to show the Lord that we will follow Him.  As he said this, tears trickled down and I knew this was true.  Hard, but true.  We did a sealing session rather than a normal session, knowing that our kids were waiting outside.  We spend some time in the celestial room and prayed together.  Drew offered the prayer.  I could tell that he knew the answer.  The Spirit quietly whispered to me, that we could take the job here, and everything would be okay.  But if held out a little longer, something greater would be there for our family.  I am grateful for personal revelation and the opportunity I have to go inside His home and feel His spirit and know His truths. 

Interestingly, when I told those who I am close to.  Most of their responses were something to the effect of, Tami, you sounded resigned to take that job.  You didn't sound like someone who had received an answer to prayer.  But no one shared that with me until after.  It makes more sense now.  Why would the Lord open my heart to North Carolina, a state that I look as as a place to go to the outerbanks.  Not a place to live.  Why would He inspire us both at the same time to put our house on the market?  He is there and He is mindful of our lives.  

I love this quote by Elder Holland, "If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."  It is a great reminder that life is hard.  We have to work hard.  We have to pray hard, and we have to walk by faith, which isn't always easy.  I know that as we hold on, something better will be there, just around the corner.  I also know that it may be hard.  I have told my kids that it is good to go through this spiritual growth, because if it is harder when we move, they will know without a doubt that this was the Lord's plan.  We are ready to move forward and do His will.  For we know that it is through His will that all things work out for good in the end.  :-)  

Relying on The Lord.

I love this picture.  This is the Raleigh North Carolina temple.  I love the sky.  This picture was taken right before big drops of rain fell.  I love the colors.  I always love pictures of my kids with the temple.  We take them to the temple no matter where we live or visit.  We want to set their sights on the temple.  To always be worthy to enter in and to prepare to make the covenants that we make within the temple.  To live a life more like the Savior.  

This entry is more of a journal with lots of thoughts.  It will all tie together.  

The theme for our ward for Girl's camp this summer is I can do hard things.  I think of our life right now, and we are in the midst of doing hard things.  

There is a video that Elder Bednar has that talks about patterns of light.  It is a three part video.  One of the videos talks about taking a step forward on a foggy day.  You see just a few feet in front of you.  So you take a step, and with each step, you see just what is in front of you.  Sometimes in life, we have to take baby steps towards that ultimate goal.  Right now, we feel like we are taking a lot of steps in the dark.  

Drew interviewed with a company in North Carolina.  He felt good about it.  He felt impressed to take the family on a trip there.  We took the family down there to get them used to the idea of moving and to see what we would need to live there.  It was a great trip.  The kids left hoping to move to North Carolina.  I pulled into the temple parking lot and had tears streaming down my cheeks.  I felt like I was home.  I am not sure if that was a reaction to the temple, the house of the Lord, or to North Carolina.  I am still trying to figure that out.  We prayed about it for weeks.  We continue to go to the temple in DC and pray about it.  It seemed like nothing was happening, and then the North Carolina job came back and said that it wasn't a fit.  I am not sure if that means that we will find another job in North Carolina, or if the trip was purely to get the kids used to the idea of us moving.  

The next impression we had was to finish the deck.  We worked tirelessly to finish the deck.  It is done now.  It has passed inspection.  We fasted this past Sunday to know what to do, and we were both impressed to put the house on the market.  We are pressing forward with that.  It is line upon line.  The kids are ready to move.  They just want closure.  Where are we going to live?  What is the next step for our family?  We have all felt that we were supposed to move.  My thoughts have been that I would prefer somewhere warmer and close to the temple.  Raleigh fits that perfectly.  But, we shall see.  I have now told Drew that the bigger priority is being closer to the temple.  I can live with the colder, I would just need a hot tub.  :-)  

Christine sent us some great church books.  I picked up Elder Eyring's biography.  The first scripture in the book is:

D&C 78:17-20
17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

20 Wherefore, do the things which I have commanded you, saith your Redeemer, even the Son Ahman, who prepareth all things before he taketh you;

I love this passage of scripture.  It touched my heart.  Great things are ahead.  There are lots of definitions of great things.  We are being led along.  

I have lots of hard things in my path.  Helping one of my children tackle something hard today.  We will endure.  It will turn out okay.  We just need to get through it.  

I went to get my allergy shot, and the nurse came out with tears in her eyes.  I asked her if she was okay.  She said she would be.  I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes.  I gave her a hug and we visited for a minute and she said that she needs friends.  My heart broke for her.  I am wishing I could be her friend, but if we move, would it be the best thing?  A hard hard thought.  I sat down and started reading my scriptures.  Actually I am reading Preach my Gospel and the scriptures that go with it.  The thought came in my mind that I should ask the nurse if she goes to church and share that is where I find my closest friends.  You know that feeling where you are about to do something hard.  Something out of your comfort zone.  You heart is pounding.  And yet you decide to do it.  I was reading the scriptures in the section on opening your mouth and the one that cut me to the core was that if we don't open our mouths the Lord's anger is kindled against us.  Wow.  So, I am scared as I get up to go talk with the nurse.  I am looking for her and can't find her.  The dr comes out and asks to check my shot before I leave.  In my mind, I am thinking, well the Lord knows my heart.  He knows that I wanted to do it, and I was willing and ready.  Maybe that was the test.  

I walk out of the office and she is walking towards me from her car.  So, I open my mouth and ask her if she has a church.  She does.  I share that my mother always prays for me to find a friend and I pray to find a friend, and it works.  She said she had never thought of that.  :-)  I asked if I could pray for her and if I could put her name in the temple where the members of the church would pray for her.  She said yes.  

It was a hard thing and it turned out great!!!

We can do hard things.  I read something this week talking about how the Lord prepares the rough ways for us.  When you think about it, it takes a lot of work to prepare things.  We are in the midst of preparing our house to go on the market.  It is a lot of time and hard work.  The lord loves us so much.  He puts a lot of time and thought into the ways that He prepares for us.  

D&C 84:88 says: 

"for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

I feel His hand in our lives.  Even looking back.  If we had gotten a job sooner, we would still have had so much to do to prepare the house for sale.  The Lord loves me so much to give me the time with Drew to prepare together.  He accepts the little acts of service I do, that sometimes take me away from the house.  He knows that my heart is in the right place.  He knows that we want to do His will.  As we continue in faith and work, I know that it will all work out.  I know that His timing is perfect.  We just have to trust in Him and work hard.  

Some Days

Some days, you just want to crawl back into bed and restart it all over again.  Oh, but
I did that, and it still didn't work.  I woke up with a headache.  I cancelled volunteering because it was killing me and despite taking ibuprofen and trying to go back to bed, it did me no good.  I wasted time laying in bed, trying to go back to sleep.  Not sure if the head ache is caused by lack of sleep or by a new medicine I started this week.  I will wait and see.

So, I thought I would try and be productive.  I started by making some skirts.  I love to sew and we invited the sister missionaries over for Christmas.  What is better than a skirt for them for Christmas.  And while I was at it, I was working on a skirt for Elisabeth and one for me.  The one for Elisabeth had a hole in it.  I need to fix that.  Mine, I thought it was knit fabric, turns out the lace doesn't have much give.  So while a knit skirt would have fit at the size I cut it, the lace didn't  That is okay.  I had enough to make one for my girls, so I will use that part for my big daughter and I re-cut mine.  Not too much of a big deal, but I lost count of how many times I had to re-thread my machine.  Seriously, I must have re-thread it 15 plus times.  I took a break and worked on making candy.  For over 20 years, I have been making my grandma's English Toffee.  It is a family recipe passed down from mother to daughter.  I am not allowed to share it with anyone but my daughters.  I have made it.  Once or twice when I have first moved some where, it has been a little softer than normal, but it has always been toffee.  Today, for the first time ever, I ruined a batch of toffee.  My time and all those ingredients wasted.  The nuts and the chocolate and the butter.  I walked back to my sewing.  Re-threading began again.

Fast forward to kids coming home.  I get into a frustrating discussion with one of my kids.  I know I wasn't at my best.  I was provoking him a bit.  I think I was just tired as was he.  We had both had frustrating days.  So, we didn't quite hit it off.  We finally made up and worked on his homemade Christmas gifts for the family.  A family tradition.  Each person makes homemade gifts for every member of the family.  It takes work, but it puts the focus back on giving rather than receiving.  You should see how excited they each get as they give their gifts to each other on Christmas morning.  We had a great dinner, thanks to my husband.

Then, the big kids and dad went to church.  In an effort to have a peaceful evening, I requested that one kids join dad at church.  Dad suggested that child bring a book.  He burst into tears crying and said, but I wanted to make cookies for mom.  After having a hard time together today, he wanted to make amends by serving and making cookies.  I had told him no at his request twice already.  I told him he would have to make him all by himself.  He was ready.   Then, while I am still working on sewing skirts.  So, I worked on sewing 6 today.  5 are now done.  I should have realized that I needed to be a mom and not so focused on what I was doing.

It was a good thing to do.  But the better thing was to be with my kids.  I didn't quite get that, I see that as I look back now.  He came in and asked questions about his cookies.  I answered.  He did eventually make the cookies all by himself.  I helped with the timer and taking them out.  They were really good.  He was excited to make 4 for each person.  With a family of six, each person usually gets 2.  With only 3 home, he could cook a dozen and we each would get 4.  He was so excited.  And they were good.  Despite my efforts to eat healthy, it was worth it to eat his delicious cookies.

Meanwhile, the youngest was determined to work on her Christmas gift for the family.  Why I suggested sock monkeys. I will never know.  I have obviously never made sock monkeys.  So, I quickly sewed the parts on the machine for her.  And then, I realized how much of it was hand sewn.  Really, it was a lot.  She was so excited about doing it.  She has been wanting to hand sew for a while.  She found my big needle and the thread, and set to work.  After a long break for me to find some stuffing in the house.  Cotton stuffing.  :-)  She stuffed her monkeys and I would get the sewing started and she would sew the parts together.  The good news is that I bought fuzzy socks to make the monkeys out of.  Because those were the striped ones available at the dollar store.  The fuzziness hides any mistakes and they look great.

So, I guess some of my giving independence to my kids paid off tonight.  They both learned new skills.  I was there to watch them.  And to give help.  I could have enjoyed the time with them more.  I am definitely pleased with their work.  I am grateful to say that the big kids project will be pretty independent.  Whew.

A great reminder to me to remember what is most important each day.  My children and who they are and the time I can spend with them.  I love being a mom.