Always Learning

I feel like I am always learning so much from The Lord. I am so thankful to Him and for His patience in me.

Just a few thoughts before I go to bed.

He gives us choices. We can choose the easier road and be okay. There will be trials. There are days that it will be hard. We can choose. Or we can choose to follow Him and His ways. His ways are not our ways. They require more faith. More patience. More.

I am not sure how everything is going to work out. But I do know He is in charge. The more I pray and the more I walk by faith. The more I see His hand in our lives. Because we have asked for His hand. Because we are choosing to follow His path. I say that because it has been hard lately. I have had several people say to Drew and I something to the effect of: You will end up in North Carolina because that is where you want to go.

Truthfully if I were choosing a place to live it would be Texas. Staying in Virginia. Or moving somewhere closer to family. Why would I randomly pick North Carolina?  I don't know anyone who lives there. To me it is a place that has great beaches. But truthfully I could go to the beach from here. Or almost anywhere, we could find a beach. Where we are looking isn't that much closer to the beach. In fact it may be a little farther away from where we live now.

Yes we will be choosing North Carolina as the offer comes in. Because The Lord has opened our hearts to North Carolina. Because we prayed about it. Because it felt right. It still feels right. It even feels right to our children. Who would definitely choose to stay here.  I have a senor ready and willing to spend his last year of high school wherever the Lord wants us to go.  His one qualification is that he gets to go to high school with his sister.  

One more interesting thought and development.  North Carolina just repealed the common core.  This past week.  We were looking in South Carolina, but now we are looking in both.  As my oldest daughter just said, Heavenly Father changes laws for our family. :-)  Or, He has postponed the job offer until they passed the law so that we will look in North Carolina...  

President Monson said the following in his talk in October 2013. 

"Our Heavenly Father, who gives us so much to delight in, also knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were--better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before.

This should be our purpose--to persevere and endure, yes, but also to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and sorrow. Were it not for challenges to overcome and problems to solve, we would remain much as we are, with little or no progress toward our goal of eternal life." 

As I read this, my heart and mind were opened to better understand the Lord's role in our live.  I am thankful for Him.  Thankful that He continuously teaches and leads me, as I choose to follow Him. 

Something Greater!

This past week has been fun and quote a learning experience.  We were given an offer the week before to a large consulting company here in DC.  It is a good company.  It was a good offer.  It would require 100 percent travel.  I know lots of friends who travel 100 percent and it works for their family.  I was not thrilled about it.  On Monday night, I about lost it.  We were awaiting a job offer from a company in North Carolina.  A smaller company.  It would start out with a year of working in North Carolina and then may turn into a travel job.  It felt better to me for some reason.  Drew had said that he felt that if we didn't get an offer from the North Carolina company by Tuesday, then he would accept the offer here with 100 percent travel.  

I worked myself up way too much.  I was quick to tears.  We spent the day with a great friend, Chris Torfin.  It was awesome to see him again.  And to enjoy hanging out with him.  I was able to focus on other things for most of the day.  When I got home that night, I got the largest headache I have ever had.  I thought I was going to explode.  I laid down and cried, until I got it all out.  

Tuesday, we got a contingent offer from the North Carolina job.  They want us, but not for another 5 to 7 weeks.  I thought well, I guess that means we are taking the job here.  That was the understanding I got from Drew.  We hadn't taken the time to really talk about it or pray about it. I made the mistake of letting myself get excited about staying here with friends, keeping the house we have worked so hard to get ready to sale, and no more showings, and a job, finally.  I made the bigger mistake of telling my parents, my brothers, and my close friends.  

Wednesday morning, Drew asked me if I felt good about it.  I looked at him and thought that he had already decided it.  I suggested that we go to the temple that day and pray about it.  He agreed.  All the kids wanted to come and hang out at the visitors center.  We drove up there, and as we were walking into the temple, Drew said maybe this is an Abrahamic test to see if we are willing to give up everything, security, everything, to show the Lord that we will follow Him.  As he said this, tears trickled down and I knew this was true.  Hard, but true.  We did a sealing session rather than a normal session, knowing that our kids were waiting outside.  We spend some time in the celestial room and prayed together.  Drew offered the prayer.  I could tell that he knew the answer.  The Spirit quietly whispered to me, that we could take the job here, and everything would be okay.  But if held out a little longer, something greater would be there for our family.  I am grateful for personal revelation and the opportunity I have to go inside His home and feel His spirit and know His truths. 

Interestingly, when I told those who I am close to.  Most of their responses were something to the effect of, Tami, you sounded resigned to take that job.  You didn't sound like someone who had received an answer to prayer.  But no one shared that with me until after.  It makes more sense now.  Why would the Lord open my heart to North Carolina, a state that I look as as a place to go to the outerbanks.  Not a place to live.  Why would He inspire us both at the same time to put our house on the market?  He is there and He is mindful of our lives.  

I love this quote by Elder Holland, "If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."  It is a great reminder that life is hard.  We have to work hard.  We have to pray hard, and we have to walk by faith, which isn't always easy.  I know that as we hold on, something better will be there, just around the corner.  I also know that it may be hard.  I have told my kids that it is good to go through this spiritual growth, because if it is harder when we move, they will know without a doubt that this was the Lord's plan.  We are ready to move forward and do His will.  For we know that it is through His will that all things work out for good in the end.  :-)  

Relying on The Lord.

I love this picture.  This is the Raleigh North Carolina temple.  I love the sky.  This picture was taken right before big drops of rain fell.  I love the colors.  I always love pictures of my kids with the temple.  We take them to the temple no matter where we live or visit.  We want to set their sights on the temple.  To always be worthy to enter in and to prepare to make the covenants that we make within the temple.  To live a life more like the Savior.  

This entry is more of a journal with lots of thoughts.  It will all tie together.  

The theme for our ward for Girl's camp this summer is I can do hard things.  I think of our life right now, and we are in the midst of doing hard things.  

There is a video that Elder Bednar has that talks about patterns of light.  It is a three part video.  One of the videos talks about taking a step forward on a foggy day.  You see just a few feet in front of you.  So you take a step, and with each step, you see just what is in front of you.  Sometimes in life, we have to take baby steps towards that ultimate goal.  Right now, we feel like we are taking a lot of steps in the dark.  

Drew interviewed with a company in North Carolina.  He felt good about it.  He felt impressed to take the family on a trip there.  We took the family down there to get them used to the idea of moving and to see what we would need to live there.  It was a great trip.  The kids left hoping to move to North Carolina.  I pulled into the temple parking lot and had tears streaming down my cheeks.  I felt like I was home.  I am not sure if that was a reaction to the temple, the house of the Lord, or to North Carolina.  I am still trying to figure that out.  We prayed about it for weeks.  We continue to go to the temple in DC and pray about it.  It seemed like nothing was happening, and then the North Carolina job came back and said that it wasn't a fit.  I am not sure if that means that we will find another job in North Carolina, or if the trip was purely to get the kids used to the idea of us moving.  

The next impression we had was to finish the deck.  We worked tirelessly to finish the deck.  It is done now.  It has passed inspection.  We fasted this past Sunday to know what to do, and we were both impressed to put the house on the market.  We are pressing forward with that.  It is line upon line.  The kids are ready to move.  They just want closure.  Where are we going to live?  What is the next step for our family?  We have all felt that we were supposed to move.  My thoughts have been that I would prefer somewhere warmer and close to the temple.  Raleigh fits that perfectly.  But, we shall see.  I have now told Drew that the bigger priority is being closer to the temple.  I can live with the colder, I would just need a hot tub.  :-)  

Christine sent us some great church books.  I picked up Elder Eyring's biography.  The first scripture in the book is:

D&C 78:17-20
17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

20 Wherefore, do the things which I have commanded you, saith your Redeemer, even the Son Ahman, who prepareth all things before he taketh you;

I love this passage of scripture.  It touched my heart.  Great things are ahead.  There are lots of definitions of great things.  We are being led along.  

I have lots of hard things in my path.  Helping one of my children tackle something hard today.  We will endure.  It will turn out okay.  We just need to get through it.  

I went to get my allergy shot, and the nurse came out with tears in her eyes.  I asked her if she was okay.  She said she would be.  I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes.  I gave her a hug and we visited for a minute and she said that she needs friends.  My heart broke for her.  I am wishing I could be her friend, but if we move, would it be the best thing?  A hard hard thought.  I sat down and started reading my scriptures.  Actually I am reading Preach my Gospel and the scriptures that go with it.  The thought came in my mind that I should ask the nurse if she goes to church and share that is where I find my closest friends.  You know that feeling where you are about to do something hard.  Something out of your comfort zone.  You heart is pounding.  And yet you decide to do it.  I was reading the scriptures in the section on opening your mouth and the one that cut me to the core was that if we don't open our mouths the Lord's anger is kindled against us.  Wow.  So, I am scared as I get up to go talk with the nurse.  I am looking for her and can't find her.  The dr comes out and asks to check my shot before I leave.  In my mind, I am thinking, well the Lord knows my heart.  He knows that I wanted to do it, and I was willing and ready.  Maybe that was the test.  

I walk out of the office and she is walking towards me from her car.  So, I open my mouth and ask her if she has a church.  She does.  I share that my mother always prays for me to find a friend and I pray to find a friend, and it works.  She said she had never thought of that.  :-)  I asked if I could pray for her and if I could put her name in the temple where the members of the church would pray for her.  She said yes.  

It was a hard thing and it turned out great!!!

We can do hard things.  I read something this week talking about how the Lord prepares the rough ways for us.  When you think about it, it takes a lot of work to prepare things.  We are in the midst of preparing our house to go on the market.  It is a lot of time and hard work.  The lord loves us so much.  He puts a lot of time and thought into the ways that He prepares for us.  

D&C 84:88 says: 

"for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

I feel His hand in our lives.  Even looking back.  If we had gotten a job sooner, we would still have had so much to do to prepare the house for sale.  The Lord loves me so much to give me the time with Drew to prepare together.  He accepts the little acts of service I do, that sometimes take me away from the house.  He knows that my heart is in the right place.  He knows that we want to do His will.  As we continue in faith and work, I know that it will all work out.  I know that His timing is perfect.  We just have to trust in Him and work hard.